the past couple of weeks have been a bit of a struggle for me emotionally. here's a heads up girls: it's very lonely being a new mum (i can't even imagine how single parents do it?!) which normally doesn't bother me too much, i like my own company and things get done when i'm not distracted by other people but as of late the various stresses and strains of life (and motherhood) have taken it's toll and it's been really hard for me to find any sort of motivation. as much as Corben fulfills my life, trying to juggle him and all the things i want/need to do as well as trying to organise myself, family life, time with friends etc etc becomes extremely stressful. it's daunting that i'm kind've on my own here (well, for the majority of the day). Matt's working in London (a long commute from High Wycombe) meaning he leaves early and returns late which is hard enough as it is. then i realise i don't really have any friends in the same boat as me, i find myself in this massive blue ocean on a tiny raft struggling to paddle with only one arm as my other one is clutching onto a small baby. i know i have a massive support network around me but everyone has their own lives too.. but i find myself here doing the same thing morning till night like bloody groundhog day.
during this hard week or so the only thing that has really kept me from losing my head is the small reminder not to take things for granted. i am so lucky to have a beautiful family of my own - i knew it would be hard on top of the fact everything happened so quickly. i'm still adjusting to my new life where my needs don't always come first and i still don't think i've had much time to catch my breath, but the rare moments when i do are moments i'm grateful for. there are so many things in life that, not just me, but i'm sure everyone is guilty of taking for granted. i feel a litte unappreciated from time to time, so be that person to remind your loved ones just how much you're happy that they're around. this monday why don't you start the week with counting your blessings? write a list of things you're gratfeul for (yes you will be able to find at least one thing) or give your parents a call and let them know that you do deep down even though it's hard to say out loud are grateful for all the things they've done for you because bloody hell do i understand that now!
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