confidence is the key

lately i have noticed how much more confident and outgoing i have become.
i've always been quite a shy person.. this may sound absurd to the people who know me because i'm loud and weird around my friends (i can't be the only one?) but i haven't always been that way. as a child i was extremely bossy but in my teenage years i became introvert - i hated the thought of meeting new people, i even sacrificed hobbies and activities i really enjoyed because it involved being thrown into a room with strangers.. so you mean making conversation with people i don't know?! no way Jose!
graduallly though i broke out of my shell, i became more relaxed after making friends at school which made me feel more comfortable in my own skin, even so, my confidence still lacked in every other area in my life: such small tasks that involved approaching someone or making a phonecall was so intimidating to me: making a doctors appointment or asking for a refund i would just refuse to do.
it's a combination of the things that have happened over the past year that have made me realise that there's no point wasting time being coy.
i quickly gained self-esteem when i started a job at a restaurant waitressing (which took so much for me to pluck up the courage to even go to my trial shift), i was thrown into the deep end with waitressing. i remember how extremely nervous i was on that first shift, i didn't even know what to say as the customers entered the door, but with a little encouragment from the boss i soon let go of the anxiety that was holding me back and since then it's been an upward spiral - i met so many great people at the restaurant who were all so outgoing i guess it just brushed off onto me.
and of course since having Corben there aren't many things that are worse than labour so i convince myself i can do anything if i think of it that way, combined with a 'fuck it' attitude.
it's also been a massive confidence boost to everyone who has supported this blog, since starting it a mere 2 months ago i've recieved so many compliments from friends and i am so grateful for the kind words, it really makes me want to keep this going. so thank you. thanks for reading my ramblings and my (often biased) opinions on life and all that good stuff. i hope if i continue blogging, many doors will open for me. so here's to a new found confidence, a fresh start and the future.
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