are you loyal to the royals?

so after all the speculation Will & Kate have had a royal baby boy. congratulations to them.

 and of course Britain has become so obsessed with the lives of the royals thanks to the media. oh how i love the media, strategically planting our thoughts and twisting our arms on what topic shall be on our lips this week. i've seen magazines across the country with 5 page spreads on what methods the royal couple will be using during labour, i'm sorry but there is no way you can glamourise giving birth, we've all seen one born every minute and there's no fooling us. 9 long months we've endured coversation upon conversation about Will & Kate's unborn foetus and of course it definitely won't be the last we hear of it - the royals are public figures and always will be, they're shining models of Britain, perfectly polished and elegantly elected role models of this country, they always have been and always will be in the public eye. however all this makes me wonder how important they actually are... sure they're nice to look at and we love to fantasise about their prestigious lifestyle but what do they actually do? as far as i'm aware the queen shakes hands and waves incessantly but with no real contribution to society. the entire nation have seen what sort of activites Prince Harry gets up to in his spare time. And Kate, she has featured in every gossip mags fashion section since the wedding, sure sounds like a WAG to me. you could disagree but she gets the same attention and idealism as Victoria Beckham. is Kate just a fancy footballers wife? the queen bee of wags. well this is a seperate discussion all together.

what i want to know is what contribution do the royal family have to us. they're just celebrities minus the plastic surgery, right? but no, without the royals our country would be nothing. a mere number within the EU. the queen is the only thing that seperates us from losing our identity among western world, without you queenie we wouldn't have a the Great British Pound. her ever so familiar face is printed on every note, engraved on every coin. our currency is unique. our island, as small as it is was once the heart of an empire. although we endlessly complain about how shit the weather is here, and how the government don't have a bloody clue. our people may be the biggest binge drinkers in the world with the largest birth rate and the highest numbers of young parents but you've got to laugh about it because that's what makes us brits and that's something to be proud of. other countries may have wonders of the world but the queen is our wonder. people travel from far and wide to come and see the great buckingham palace hoping to catch a glimpse of elizabeth taking a royal dump maybe. egyptian pyramids, great wall of china, taj mahal? you got nothing on our queenie.

are you loyal to the royals?
p.s. Will & Kate, you may be a prince and princess but you still have to wipe a royal bum.